wake up

My Dad is in ICU.

I need my Dad to live forever so us together here is outside of the scope of any future I want to see.

He broke bones in his foot and was undergoing surgery last Thursday.  There were complications with the intubation.  The surgery was halted.    Instead, he’s been healing medically sedated for the past 4 days.  Here in ICU.

If his condition remains stable Dad will have the surgery tomorrow.  The breathing tubes removed while under anesthesia to manage the pain and ensure he can breathe well again on his own.

“Wake up, Dad.”

That’s what I want to say as he lays here.  But, he needs his rest.   I remember waking up with that tube down my throat.  I don’t wish that for him.  He hates hospitals.  It’s better he’s sedated while the machine is doing his breathing.

Life is going on around him.   His kids visiting.  My mom barely leaving his side.   Jessie’s games that he never misses if Dad can help it.  He’s going to wake up and be sad at the time that’s gone by.  It’s going to bother him what he’s missed.

Time dawdles in the hospital, gaining energy for the sprint outside.

I think about how I live.  Time flying so fast and filled.  Never a second to breathe on my own.   My choice.

As I’ve grown older I’ve learned to fill my time well.   With God, with my kids, my family, my work so I can pay for all the rest of my life as it dashes along.

Here in the hospital you hear things.  You see things.  Family drama.  Played out in the halls.  Stress lashes out in many different ways.  At nurses, at doctors, at loved ones, at enemies.

“Why visit now when you haven’t seen her in 12 years?”   “Where have you been?”

Bad timing.   Hostile delivery.  Yet, I think about what I overhear.  It’s true.   Where has that girl been all these years?  What was more important?  What filled her time?  What fight was big enough not to see her mom for 12 years?  What was so bad, yet not bad enough to still stay away now.  After it’s almost too late.  Now that her Mom doesn’t even know she’s here.

What a waste of time.  All those moments that can’t be recovered.   Indeed, where has that daughter been?

Wake up.  Man, just wake up.

We go along in our lives with the petty squabbles, the insecurities, the arrogance that we’re always right.   Why do we think we have endless time to make it right someday?  Someday is today.   What are we thinking?

Wake up.

Show up everyday.  Not just the final day.

Show up when it matters, not just at the end.

Wake up.  Where have you been?

Then I think about all of us.   Everyone else.   An eternal question.  The only one that actually is going to matter.

What about God?

Come on, wake up.  None of us are so young anymore that we believe we have so much time to get this right with God before the end.   Never enough time for Small Group?  Always something more important than church.  Two hours a week too much for us to spend with Him.  It’s not a mystery those two hours a week.  They’re scheduled.  We know what time, we know they’re coming.  We fill the time with something different ourselves.  No one fills it for us.  A year goes by.  Then more.

Wake up, man.

Just wake up.  What are we doing?

If Paris, Israel, Africa, Syria and all of the other terror unfolding all over the world isn’t a wake up to Christians, I don’t know what it will take.   Our salvation is drawing nearer.  Each of us.  Are you ready?  It isn’t just knowing your salvation is secure.  Have you done everything here you wanted to?  More importantly, have you done everything here that He wanted you to?

Only you know for sure.

Wake up.  Time is running by outside.  How are you filling it?

Romans 13:11

And do this, understanding the present time:  The hour has already come for you to wake up from your slumber, because your salvation is nearer now than when you first believed.

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